reminiscent flavour
by zivafan07
Summary: memories are stirred when something from the past is unearthed. short summary but better story inside. please read and review
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well this is my second fan fic and my 1st multi chapter fic. i had received requests to continue my first fic 'a night in the desert' but sorry to say i intended it to be a one shot i see no way i can continue it. but i promise this fic will have some elements later on in the story that will have implications to 'a night in the desert' so people who haven't read it already please give it a in my anxiety to publish my 1st fic i had forgotten to include disclaimer. so here goes...

DISCLAIMER : i do not own any of the characters in this story. all these characters belong to CBS and i have no intention to make money from this whatsoever.

**chapter 1**

"good morning zee vah, good morning mcgoo" greeted tony as he strode swiftly into the bullpen with his 1000 watt grin. Ziva rested her chin on her knuckles and with a raised eyebrow scrutinized tony and commented " well you seem to be in an exceptionally good mood" "well yes David thank you for noticing, as a matter of fact…." "well there he goes did u have to ask?" McGee chastised Ziva. "Whoa did somebody get on the wrong side of the bed McGrumpy" exclaimed Tony annoying Tim even more. In the precise moment Gibbs walked inside and effectively broke off the possible quarrel from erupting. He sat at his desk and threw a glare at DiNozzo " shutting up boss" said tony as he sat at his desk and started his routine.

They worked in silence for about half an hour only their keyboards or pens making noises when a sudden gasp broke the monotone. Tony was the only one who heard it and he looked up and caught Ziva's horrified expression. Ziva suddenly snapped back into reality and arranged her face masking the horrific expression that it adorned. She looked up from the screen to see tony staring at her with a questioning gaze. she shook her head and returned back to the report she was filing. "That was odd" tony thought to himself and shrugged it away. Ziva kept squirming in her seat unable to compose herself distracting everyone including Gibbs. He looked at her sideways and ordered all three to the gym and blow off some steam as they all had started the day off on the wrong note. Ziva bolted up and made a run for the gym. "exactly what I needed, thanks a lot Gibbs" ziva thought to herself as she changed to her workout clothes. She was beating the life out of the punching bag when tony placed a hand on his shoulders " calm down…..oomph" tony was hit with a punch right to his nose. It started bleeding profusely, ziva abandoned her gloves and knelt beside the bleeding tony and screamed at Gibbs to bring an ice pack. "What the hell Ziva?" came the muffled voice of tony." I am so sorry" cried ziva tears falling uncontrollably down her rosy cheeks, "I didn't mean to" she apologized. "hey ninja, it is alright don't cry I know you didn't mean to" tony soothed her brushing off the tears, more than being angry at her he was confused that his usually stoic ninja was openly crying in front of him. Ziva fought for control as Gibbs came by them.

HALF AN HOUR AND A VISIT TO DUCKY LATER

McGee and ziva were busy typing away on their computers. Tony strode in with a frown forming on his forehead. "oh yeah, ducky said I am alright although it might sting a little till tomorrow, thanks for asking guys" tony said sarcastically, still seeing no reaction from his co workers he slumped on his chair looking at both of them simultaneously and exclaiming "what is up with these kids and computers ?" ."yeah something I have been asking for years DiNozzo " came the reply of Gibbs as he strode into the office carrying a cup of coffee in his hands. "glad someone's with me on this boss " came Tony's cheery reply. "Oh yeah DiNozzo, I think I may know someone who may not be with us anymore." he said as he grabbed his gear and strode towards the elevator as Tony and McGee followed him promptly, as they went into the elevator they noticed that ziva hadn't left her desk to join them. Gibbs held the elevator doors open and shouted across the room to ziva "hey David care to join us ". when he got no response Tony peeked out to see Ziva still sitting at her desk staring transfixed at her computer screen. He stepped out of the elevator and assured Gibbs that both of them will be right behind them and saying so he moved boldly towards ziva this time all ready for any sort of reaction from her. He reached her and saw her staring at a blank screen. He rounded the cubicle and squatted down beside her, he called out her name and still received no response. He carefully placed a hand on her knee and shook her while calling her name a little more loudly

" hey zee". She snapped back from her trance and looked directly at him, she tilted her head a little to the left and looked at him disbelievingly fear and hurt glistening in her eyes. "hey zee is everything alright you look like you have seen a ghost". And that was it within a fraction of a second she sucked it up and placed her usual mask of indifference. Tony understood that she didn't want to talk about it and let it slide for now. He stood up and taking her backpack cheerfully said "we better get going or else Gibbs is going to kick our sorry asses into the next century and back." ziva nodded and picked up her id and weapon.

AT THE CRIME SCENE

"Marine gunnery sergeant Liam Hemmingway stationed at Kandahar for the past 6 months, on leave for the past 2 weeks due to personal reasons. Has been in DC for the past 3 days." McGee recited dutifully from his mobile AFIS. Gibbs was grimly looking down at the body of the sergeant that was convoluted impossibly, meanwhile ducky was going on and about the body and palmer was raptly paying attention to the old ME , but he observed that Ziva was abnormally quite and pensive as she was taking photographs of the crime scene, he also noticed that Tony was glancing at her every now and then.

"Jethro, I and Mr palmer here have reached to the conclusion that our gunnery sergeant was tortured immensely before they put an end to the poor man's miseries, he was killed approximately after 11 pm last night, but as for the intricate details of his rather..."ducky discontinued as he looked up in time to see Ziva's eyes lose focus and her upper body sway a little." ziva, my dear are you feeling alright you don't look too well." Gibbs and tony turned in time to see her lose her grip on the camera and fall down herself, both of them strode towards her and caught her before she could hit the ground.

A/N: i would also like to thank and guest reviewer zivatjl12 for your valuable reviews and caria05 for putting my story on favorites.

please let me know how you liked this story so far so that i can upload more. reviews please :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am extremely sorry for not updating for so long, i was in middle of shifting from my home to another place far away. Now that i am kind of settled, i will see to it that i update every week. once again i am extremely sorry and please give this story a chance.**

**disclaimer: once again i do not own any of these characters and do not make any money out of it.**

AT ZIVA'S APARTMENT 

All throughout the ride tony kept a close eye on Ziva, who had her head resting against the glass of the car window, her eyes gazing intently on the scenery flashing outside.

Once they reached her apartment Ziva shook out of her reverie and climbed off the car hastily without making any eye contact with tony.

On the hallway she fumbled inside her side bag searching for her key to the apartment for few minutes she vainly tried to jam the key inside the lock before tony placed a hand over her trembling ones and helped her unlock her front door, he pushed the door open and holding her hand, gently pulled her into the apartment along with him.

Tony was utterly scared for his usually strong ninja partner, he felt as if she had given up on everything, as if she had Wholeheartedly accepted her defeat to a battle she had been fighting for so long. But he had no clue as to what is that really bothered her.

'ziva' he called out softly trying to snap her out of the dreamland she had wandered off to.

He placed his hand on her right cheek to get any reaction out of her. Ziva turned her head into his palm and looked straight into his eyes.

Tony was stunned by what he saw in those beautiful doe eyes of her 'defeat' and 'helplessness'The two things he never dreamed of seeing in his partners eyes .

Her face now looked like that of a battered woman, one that has been through so much in life, that every breath she takes is another struggle.

The brown orbs were sheathed with a thin sheen of tears that threatened to fall over and make her lose her sanity.

The quivering of her bottom lips was the only sign he got before she fell into his arms sobbing openly, her small frame wracking violently against his muscular one.

He was rendered incapable by her sudden outburst that all he could do was hold her close one hand held her head close to his heart as the other went around her waist to support her against his body so that she didn't fall down.

'Shh Ziva, it's alright' he said, vainly trying to console her without knowing a thing about her distress.

He held her tightly and went over to her couch. He sank onto it and tried to lift her face off his shirt.

It broke his heart to see her face all red and blotchy, with tear tracks running down her cheeks.

He wiped them off with his palms and resting them on her cheeks looked deep into her bloodshot eyes.

"Ziva do you want some water" he asked

She was expecting to hear something else and this unexpected question surprised her and she nodded her head slightly.

Tony got off the couch and went to the kitchen to fetch some water for his friend.

On his return Ziva started sipping her water, her eyes refusing to look anywhere near where he was sitting.

"can I do anything that can….." he was cut short by her turning her head sharply and anger flaring through her eyes like a raging fire, where a moment ago there was a lament of defeat now resided a raging inferno.

"stop pretending tony?" she screamed

"why don't you just ask it instead of holding back" she said now fresh tears running down her face.

Tony looked genuinely hurt by what she just said but he still placed his hand upon her shoulders and said " because Ziva, we both know that no matter how hard I try I can't force you to open up. I can see you don't want to talk about it and that is fine , but when you are ready, you know I will always be here to listen to you."

"I can't afford to lose you again in the name of some stupid fight that it can lead to, I don't think I have it in me to go through that again and come out alive Ziva."

Ziva was left speechless after such an honest declaration from him that she hid her face with her palm and started crying again.

Tony encased her within his loving embrace and caressed her back in an attempt to soothe her .

She held on tightly to his jacket front while mumbling "I am sorry, I am so sorry tony."

"hey it's alright, please don't cry" he whispered into her hair leaving a small kiss on top of her head before once again pulling her face off his chest and looking at her. He cupped her cheek making her look at him

"like I said, whenever you are ready"

He smiled softly at her before he attempted to get up and give her some space. Ziva clutched his wrist and shook her head "I don't want to hide it anymore, give me some time to collect myself and then come to my room" she said.

He nodded and left her to her thoughts.

**A/N**: please read and review. pretty please :)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: HEY EVERYONE! HERE IS MY NEXT WEEKLY UPDATE AS PROMISED. THIS IS MORE OF A FILLER CHAPTER AND HENCE IS VERY SMALL PLEASE HAVE PATIENCE WITH THIS STORY. AND THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED AND FAVORITED AND ARE FOLLOWING THIS STORY. YOU MAKE MY DAY.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS. ALL RIGHTS GO TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN. I MAKE NO PROFITS OUT OF THIS STORY.**

An hour later tony poked his head inside her room and saw her sitting on the bed leaning against the headboard, her eyes closed and hands clutching some papers.

'Ziva' he called out softly. she opened her eyes and after few seconds beckoned him to come inside and sit beside her.

he sat down beside her and placed his hand on her knees and squeezed it. "hey, how are you feeling now?" he asked her as she hung her head. she held out the papers in front of her for him to take it.

he took it from her and looked at it with a confused expression on his face. "what are these ziva?"

"my test results" she replied simply

"why are you showing..." he began to ask when she shook her head and replied "please tony, read it and don't ask me anything, I can't talk about it , please" she said as she looked into his eyes, with tears streaming down her face.

He looked down at the papers and saw that they were indeed some medical test results but he had no idea as to why she would all of a sudden show these to him. he was feeling confused about this until he came across a particular page that held the most crucial test result, he looked at the top of the page to note that the date coincided with the time they had rescued her from Somalia.

He was horrified to see the contents of the page, it slipped from his hands and onto the floor.

He cradled his head with his hands and began shaking his head vigorously and started muttering continuously 'no, no, that's not possible'. Ziva was terrified to see her partner this way, she placed her hand on his shoulders. He turned his head to look at her, and without a premonition hugged her tightly close to his chest.

'ziva tell me that wasn't true, that it was all wrong, please tell me.' he said cupping her face within his palm.

She shook her head while biting her lip, ' I can't , I too wish it were wrong Tony, but it isn't, i was raped, I was tortured in the most vulgar way possible.' she said as her tears started anew and she started sobbing violently.

'I am sorry Ziva, I am so sorry you had to go through these' he said as he held her close not willing to let her go at all.

"ziva, what happened today? why are you showing me these now? why didn't you tell me anything earlier?"

"Because I didn't want anyone to know about this Tony, it is in the past and I wanted to keep it there but now..." she broke off.

"what is it ziva? what happened?" tony asked concerned.

she looked up, staring right into his green orbs and sighed "ray happened".

**A/N: TADA, OK I REALLY HOPE THAT ENDING SURPRISED YOU, PLEASE LET ME KNOW THROUGH YOUR KIND REVIEWS, AND FORGIVE ME FOR ANY MISTAKES I MAY HAVE MADE, SINCE I AM STILL A PROBIE AT THIS.**


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4

**A/N: **** Hey everyone. I am back with the next update. I hadn't updated the previous week because this story has just entered into the complicated zone and I found it very difficult to write, but I really hope it came out well enough. As for the question Zivatjl had asked in the previous chapter, ziva was raped in Somalia and not by Ray what that lowlife Ray did will be revealed in this chapter. and a huge thanks to all who have reviewed till now. there is a scene in here I borrowed from the episode 'pyramid' but I have made some not so subtle changes to it. now enough with my rambling and on with the story.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters or ncis and do not make any money out of this.**

Tony looked straight into her eyes, the warm green orbs swimming with confusion and his forehead creased . he placed a hand on her knee and pressed in a little, silently urging her to continue.

ziva looked up from her nails that had momentarily caught her fascination. after a few seconds of gazing into her partners eyes she got up from her bed and went into her living room.

Tony waited for what seemed like hours but were actually a few minutes before he got up from the bed and went in search of his partner.

He reached the end of the hallway that lead to the living room, where he stopped and looked at the sight before him.

ziva stood in front of her couch fiddling with her laptop, clearly at crossroads as to whether she should continue with her previous endeavour of opening up to him or just leave it and go back to being the way they were, blissfully ignorant of the feelings sleeping deep within them.

"no Ziva, please, not now, don't leave me here, speculating about what is wrong with you." Tony pleaded hurt clearly glimmering in his eyes.

Ziva let out the breath she had inadvertently held and shook her head. she sat down on her couch and mumbled 'it's tough Tony, I don't think I want you nor anyone else to see these." she said with her head down.

Tony sat beside her and let out a long breath ' I know this is tough ziva, but, please let us in ,we are your family, we care about you, please let me help you.' he said

she nodded her head and swallowed softly . she kept her head down and fidgeted with her nails as she flashed back to the previous summer. "last summer after we had solved the port to port killer case, I had decided on talking with Ray and then decide where we went from there .

He called me down to the break room, we sat there talking about the events of the past days, all of a sudden he took out a box and placed it before me, I opened it to see a ring placed within.

He didn't say anything he simply kept looking at me expecting me to take it and wear it..I sat there staring at the ring , for the past year I had been desperately searching for happiness in my life trying to find something permanent.

And when at last I had it placed in a silver platter in front of me ,I couldn't do it. something about it didn't feel right " she said as she suddenly was choked by the emotions surging through her at the memory.

**flashback**

_ziva sat there staring at the ring for a few moments before she looked up into ray's eyes her fingers slowly slid over the lid and closed the box. _

_Ray looked down at the box and then up at her. "ziva, what.." he was cut off by Ziva shaking her head and standing up and making ray stand up along with her._

_she held his hand and leaned forward and kissed his cheeks. Then without another word she turned around and walked out of the break room. _

_**an hour later**_

_ziva looked down at her phone that had been incessantly ringing for the past hour followed by the knocking on the door both being done by the same person, 'Ray'._

_Ziva sighed and got up from the couch and moved towards the door._

_she hugged her stomach tightly as she prepared to answer the impatient man on the other side._

_"Ray, please go away, I need to be alone now."_

_"no, Ziva I need to know the reason. what did I do" he shouted back."_

_"I don't want to talk about it Ray, just go away."_

_"you'll answer me Ziva whether you like it or not" he fumed as he stormed out of her apartment complex._

_she slid down along the door onto the floor and hugged her knees close to her chest and placed her head on top of her knees as she got lost in her thoughts._

**end of flashback**

" I don't know why I did what I did that day Tony, except that something about it didn't sit right with me. and I am so glad that I didn't accept that ring, now that I know what exactly he is capable of."

She opened her laptop and kept staring at it. Tony placed his hand upon hers and she snapped out of her trance. she took a deep breath and opened the latest mail she had received that morning .

"while I was in Somalia not only those terrorists violated me but found every way to break me, they kept repeating things in my ear that I will never forget till my last breath."

"And on top of all this they recorded everything they did to me and threatened to send it to my father, as a proof that I was still alive. I didn't want anything that happened within the confines of those walls to go out, even if it meant that someone would know I was alive and try to save me. "

"I had no reason to live. All I wanted was to die and take all that they did to me to my grave. But when you rescued me I was too shocked to even remember that such evidences of my time in Somalia existed. That is until I received this." she said and turned the laptop towards him, asking him to open the latest mail she had received from Ray.

**Sweetheart,**

**I had no idea what you have been through . and I don't think you would want anyone else to find about it. do you?**

**your true love,**

**Ray Cruz.**

and to this mail, there was an attachment that as soon as Tony opened he wished he hadn't.

To say he was angry was an understatement, he was livid, at Ray, and mostly at those terrorists who didn't deserve such an, easy, almost painless death.

Tony was grateful that Ziva had warned him before about what had happened to her, because if he had , had no premonition he would have punched at something right now and then thrown up.

The attachment were full of photos of ziva being beaten up tied up against the walls, of her lying naked and curled up into a ball due to the inscrutable pain that reigned over her body that was as clear as day on her face. of ziva being raped and simultaneously being burnt by cigarettes and tobacco all over her body.

Tony shut the laptop with a force that startled Ziva.

He looked at her and once more brought her close to him and hugged her tightly. "I am so sorry Ziva, all the time you were being tortured and going through hell we thought you were just happy to be back in Israel, i tried to move on, we had team dinners and night outs while those monsters..."

"shhh Tony ,no, do not blame yourself for what they did. You are nothing like them. you did what you could do and I am grateful for that." she soothed him as she caressed his head.

He placed his palms on both side of her face and looked straight into those doe eyes of her.

"Ziva if it was up to me I would bring them back from dead and torture them until my message is clearly etched on every part of them inside and out, 'no one messes with my Ziva'."

His blatant confession caught her off guard but she placed her hand on top of his and said in a voice that was barely above a whisper " no, Tony do not even think like that, it will make you like them and you are nothing like them, trust me." she said as she once again cradled him close to her.

**A/N: ****So what do you think. please review. I have taken 2 whole weeks to write this. please let me know.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **** before I start this chapter I want to apologise for uploading such a sad and troubling chapter when already we are freaked out over the Shabbat shalom promo, seriously what are TPTB trying to do to us? but as they say, the story must go on. I will upload the next chapter shortly, probably tomorrow itself because it is a continuation to this and after reading this you will be eagerly waiting for the rest of it (well i hope so!) anyways on with the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: once again I do not own NCIS or any of its character and the name mentioned in this chapter Sasha Fernandez is purely fictional and is not after anybody dead or alive**

**P.S.**** The case mentioned in this story is very short and not so descriptive as this is not a case related fic. so please excuse me in that respect.**

**CHAPTER 5**

McGee sat at his computer trying to concentrate on the article on the computer screen that he was supposed to read but much like Tony he was getting distracted ,but for different reasons, while Tony frequently kept looking up at their female colleague sitting right in front of him, McGee kept getting distracted by the very awkward and suffocating aura surrounding both his partners right from the moment they stepped into the office.

Ziva was being unusually silent and Tony being extra jumpy at every movement ziva made, as if she might break by doing anything.

Right at that moment Gibbs strolled into the bullpen going straight to his desk and collecting his gear, "gear up, missing petty officer" he announced.

When he heard no usual rustling of bags and jackets as they prepared themselves he looked up to see a very unusual scene.

Tony was looking at Ziva very precariously as if she was about to fall from the top of a very tall building, Ziva was looking back at Tony her eyes glassed with unshed tears her eyes conveyed a silent pleading, Tim was looking at both of them his eyes moving comically from one partner to another, apprehensive, as if someone is about take the pin out of a illusionary grenade.

"hey" Gibbs shouted, effectively snapping all three of them from the staring contest they were indulging in. "I said gear up" he looked sideways at Ziva whose jaws were set tightly, but he could make the unmistakeable tear track down her right cheek.

McGee quickly jumped out of his seat and all but ran towards the elevator, Tony had his backpack over his shoulder and a confused expression on his face as if he couldn't decide to go or wait for his partner, Ziva on the other hand seemed to be fumbling to clip her gun holster to her pants with a irritated expression on her face.

Gibbs caught Tony's eye and silently conveyed to him to move along. Tony reluctantly walked to the elevator.

Gibbs walked over to Ziva's desk and placed a hand upon her right arm that was trembling with the effort of the task in her hand.

she looked up at Gibbs

"Ziver, are you alright?" he asked placing his hand on her forehead feeling for a fever she might have

"yes" she nodded and gave a quick smile. Gibbs wiped away the obvious tear tracks on her cheeks letting her know that he knew there was something wrong with her.

She turned away and left for the elevator.

Gibbs was now really worried for his youngest agent. fainting one day trembling the other day, rendering her incapable of doing the very simple of things.

He knew there was only one who could give him answers, bearing this in mind he walked towards the elevator.

**AN HOUR LATER, BACK IN THE BULLPEN**

"ok thank you for the information." ziva said as she hung up the phone and stood up moving towards the plasma screen where the male team members where crowded over.

"Petty officer Sasha Fernandez had an appointment with the obstetrician- gynaecologist at Bethesda on Monday at 2 pm and had reported promptly.

she also went to the chemist to collect her prenatal vitamins. But her neighbours who were supposed to meet her for the evening tea didn't see her return from her appointment with the doctor, they thought she might have been called to the base for some work related issue and let it slide.

A day after this passed they neither saw nor heard from her which was pretty unusual according to them.

They tried to reach her through her cell number but there was no response and that is when they called it in." ziva concluded.

"good work David" Gibbs said as he went back to his desk, "McGee trace her cell phone "

"on it boss" McGee responded and started typing furiously.

Ziva turned around and came face to face with Tony she looked up at him right into those caring and worried eyes of his, feeling her worst nightmare resurface she rounded around him and went to her desk.

Tony closed his eyes and pinched the bridge between his eyes.

Gibbs observed this and decided that enough was enough, he got up from his chair move towards the elevator motioning at Tony to follow him.

Tony sighed deeply and followed his boss, briefly catching ziva glancing at him with worry in her eyes.

Once inside Gibbs brought the elevator to an abrupt stop and looked straight at his senior field agent.

Tony who was standing at the back of the elevator looked up at his boss, "please boss, don't ask me."

"damn it Tony, I have had enough of this crap, I need to know this second what's going on." Gibbs fumed.

"boss it is not my place to tell you what she told me, only she can decide upon that. all I can say now is that we were mistaken about her time in Somalia, there is more to it than meets the eye. She went through hell boss and still is." he said as he reached around Gibbs and restarted the elevator.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked now more confused than before.

Tony just shook his head and stepped out of the elevator.

**10PM AT NIGHT**

After a long day and a tiring case later, in which they were successful in finding petty officer Sasha Fernandez and rescuing her from the father of her child who apparently was planning on keeping her hostage till the child was born and take it away once it was born.

All were relieved that mother and child were safe as of now and the perp was put away.

Ziva was packing her bag and getting ready to leave after completing her paperwork when the 'ding' of the elevator resounded through the almost empty office floor.

Ziva was fumbling with the contents in her bag, biting her lower lip in concentration her brow furrowed and eyes squinting.

suddenly she felt a presence behind her, not taking her hand out of her bag she turned around and came face to face with none other than Ray Cruz himself.

"well, hello darling! did you miss me?" he asked mockingly, as a disgusting smirk split across his face .

**A/N: **** so what do you think? please review and let me know. will surely put a smile on my face. watch out for my next update tomorrow :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: ****well here is the next chapter of this story. I have completed writing most of this story but for some reason the site is being blocked and am unable to upload. So enjoy this i have found a temporary way of uploading. I'll upload when I can next. Sorry for the inconvenience I really do want to upload more regularly**

**chapter 6**

"Ray? what are you..." Ziva started.

"doing here? surprising you dear, it has been too long." he said as he stepped closer to Ziva and slipped an arm around her waist.

Gibbs, McGee, and Tony all stood up simultaneously and moved towards Ziva's desk.

Ziva was squirming within his arms trying to free herself " let go off me." she said.

Gibbs approached them and forcefully pulled away Rays' arm from around her.

"Agent Gibbs! didn't notice you there, was too pre occupied by this gorgeous beauty over here" he said with a smug smile.

Ziva moved towards Gibbs side trying vainly to mask her fear.

"what are you doing here, agent Cruz." Gibbs said in an authoritative tone.

"well i and Ziva have some unfinished business we need to attend to and so my impromptu visit " he said as he once again tried to grab hold of her arm.

"i have nothing to do with you Ray I told you it was over." ziva said.

"not so easily ziva, you owe me an explanation." Ray retorted.

"i owe you nothing Ray, now get lost." she said.

Ray looked livid but seeing the looks on her team mates face decided to back off for now.

"This is far from being over Ziva." he said as he moved towards the elevator.

As Ray disappeared behind the elevator doors. Tony stepped forward and spoke up.

"you are not going to be alone tonight, with that lunatic on the loose." he said without hesitation.

"No, Tony this is between me and him I do not want to drag anyone else into this. besides i can take care of myself." she said and stormed off.

**later at ziva's apartment**

ziva was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table sipping a bottle of beer. she was deep in thought about the events of the past year, when there was a loud knock on the door, ziva looked up at the clock noticing it was way late for anyone to be knocking at her door. frowning she moved to stand up, when there was another harsh knock on the door. Ziva was drowsy and a bit drunk to even arm herself, something she would have usually done if she was thinking straight.

the knock became incessant as she approached the door.

"coming" she called out. "who is there?" she asked a moment later feeling apprehensive of her late night visitor.

she looked through the peep hole and saw the person she least wanted to see at the moment.

Ray Cruz.

ziva stood there in shock for a moment having no idea as to what she should be doing.

"ray what are you doing here?" she yelled through the closed the door.

there was no reply she looked through the peep hole and saw him leaning against the door with his head on his forearm.

"Ray" she shouted again.

a second later there was a violent push and she fell to the ground, she realised that he had just picked the lock.

now he was standing there towering over her.

he was wearing the same suit as earlier in the day.

but his tie was askew and his whole etiquette screamed drunk.

"what the hell do you think you are doing ray?" she yelled trying to get up from the floor.

Ray grabbed her by the arm and yanked her to her feet.

he slammed her against the wall and got close to her and whispered harshly.

" oh its nothing love, I knew you were more accustomed to forceful handling than gentle

talks and discussions so I decided to do just that." he said and nuzzled her neck .

ziva struggled to free herself from ray's clutches but the images in her mind of the photos he had sent her through e mail were incapacitating her.

even though Ray was drunk, it absolutely did nothing to falter his hold on her.

his hands started caressing her sides as his mouth travelled towards her collarbone.

Ziva felt panic rising inside her as she felt his hands on her body. as soon as her hands were free she shoved Ray with all her strength. and when he fell back slightly she ran towards the cupboard where her weapon was kept.

but she barely made it past the couch that Ray caught up with her from behind.

he wound his arm around her waist and pulled her back towards his chest.

he nuzzled her cheek and breathed out a sigh as he started kissing down the side of her neck.

"oh my ziva, there is no use fighting me." he said as he held a struggling and squirming ziva in a tight grip.

'leave me, let me go " ziva pleaded as she struggled against her captor. tears were streaming down her face and she fell to her knees while trying to escape.

Ray wound his other arm under her arms and practically dragged her to the couch. once there he threw her down and laid down on top of her.

Ziva could barely breathe with Ray on top of her resting his entire weight on her.

she squirmed and tried to wiggle away as best as she could but it only entertained a smirk on his face and a sigh of pleasure that smelled , breathed onto her face. he bought his right knee and pressed against her thigh making it difficult for her to move .

he pressed his lips against her holding her hands above her head. he bit her soft lips hard drawing blood out of it. one of his hands wandered down and started tearing her clothes.

he scratched down her body and went towards her shorts.

"please Ray stop this, please." she pleaded her face covered with tears and red with all the effort she was putting to escape his clutches which were relentless.

"Oh no no no Ziva, this time we do it my way" he said as he stood up and picked up a completely naked Ziva and dragged her to her bedroom.

He threw her on the bed and slammed the door behind him.

**A/N: hope you did like it. please leave a review , it will make me happy**.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: ****First off thanks to all of you for your continued support, all your reviews, favourites and follows they mean a lot to me. Here is the next update I have decided to do once a week update from now on. No promises but I'll try my best and I will never abandon this story I'll see it through to the end. Now on with the story.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I own none of the characters or NCIS I do not make any sort of profit from this.**

**chapter 7**

**THE NEXT MORNING AT ZIVA'S APARTMENT**

Faint sunlight filtered through the curtains, illuminating the mess that was made out of Ziva's bedroom.

Ziva was lying in the middle of the bed, covers drawn over her naked body, which hid the bruised and battered body from the rest of the world but did nothing to hide the broken soul that stared right at the door through which her tormentor had staggered out a few hours ago.

Afraid to move even a muscle, in the fear of the sharp pain surging through her body she lay there in the dimly lit room ,broken and empty.

After a while she braved to move her limbs in order to sit up against the headboard, which she soon realised was the wrong move as the blinding pain reining in her body made her double over in pain and sick to her stomach.

She got off the bed and dragged herself into her bathroom with herculean effort and barely made it to the sink before she started throwing up.

After about a couple of minutes of throwing up she dared to glance up at the vanity in front of the sink only to look back at a long forgotten face, a face she desperately tried to never recollect, the broken woman she ran away from in her nightmares of Somalia. But here she was again, in flesh staring right back at her.

She was a determined woman, determined to never see that broken self again, she was a fighter, a soldier, and she would not let herself be weak any longer.

With a lot of effort she pulled herself under the shower and scrubbed hard at her body trying to wipe off all the lingering traces of what she saw as her weakness last night.

She rubbed her skin raw until it was red and sore and at last she stepped out of the shower feeling nothing less of the humiliation that she was subjected to earlier.

She went out of the bathroom and started tidying up her bedroom determined of erasing all that happened last night. Trying vainly to pretend it was a bad dream.

09:00 am

**NCIS BULLPEN**

Tony kept looking at his watch and glancing towards the elevator hoping and praying to god his partner will walk out of it any moment.

As time kept ticking by all were growing worried as to why Ziva wasn't showing up. None of them wanting to recollect what happened the last time she was this late.

With the events of the previous day still fresh on his mind Tony kept getting restless, worried sick for his partner, and dreading all that could have happened that is making her late , and none of them being pretty situations.

Gibbs had enough of Tony's fidgeting and asked McGee to call Ziva and check.

After ringing for a few moments she picked up the phone and McGee started talking eliciting a sigh of relief from Tony.

"Hey, Ziva it's almost 09:10, why aren't you here yet." McGee asked worry clear in his voice.

"Oh, we were just worried, is it something serious? Do you need anything?" he asked

The one sided conversation that he could hear making Tony even more apprehensive.

"Ok then, sure I'll tell Gibbs, take care!" he said as he hung up.

He looked up to see Tony standing right beside his desk waiting for him tell about the conversation.

"She said, she wasn't feeling well something about a stomach bug."McGee informed

"Then why didn't she call in sick earlier." Tony interrogated clearly seeing through Ziva's bluff.

"She said she slept in as she wasn't feeling good and forgot to call." McGee said.

Tony looked at Gibbs who looked back at him sternly.

"Gibbs you don't believe that do you? She is not a person who calls in sick, not for something as small as stomach bug. And sleeping in! Ziva would rather shoot herself than sleeping after 05:00 am." Tony ranted.

"DiNozzo get back to work. She'll be fine." Gibbs said.

"No she will not be, she is in trouble and I am going to check on her." Tony said as he collected his badge and backpack ready to leave.

"Tony she has had a rough week she needs some rest, and if she takes that by lying to us then let her be." Gibbs reasoned.

Tony slumped back in his chair disappointed but still suspicious of Ziva's behaviour.

The day passed by slowly much to Tony's frustration but as soon as soon as it was asked them to leave for the weekend.

Tony collected his stuff and without a word headed for the elevator.

**OUTSIDE ZIVA'S APARTMENT**

Tony knocked on Ziva's door leaning against the wall nearby, pizza box in one hand.

he stood there for a couple of minutes and when he didn't hear any movement from inside, he assumed she would have gone out to the store and so went to call her on her cell, right then he heard the distinct sound of glass falling and breaking from inside.

Panicking he took out his weapon and kicked the door down only to see ziva running towards him with a piece of glass in hand. He moved aside quickly and avoided the stab by mere inches.

When ziva saw who was standing in her threshold she immediately dropped the glass and slid down along the wall on to the floor, but the look of fear and horror was still glistening in her eyes.

Tony was shocked to say the least, of all the things he didn't expect her to be stabbing people who came to her apartment.

His attention was diverted to Ziva's hand that was bleeding profusely. He knelt in front of her and took her hand within his and inspected it carefully. There was a deep gash from which blood was gushing out.

"Ziva are you alright, what happened to you?" he asked as he made her stand up and lead her to the bathroom to clean up her wound.

"I am so sorry tony, I thought ..." her sentence was cut short by her wincing due to the stinging in her hand.

"Hey don't worry, we probably should go to some doctor to check this out." he suggested.

"I am fine I just need some antiseptic no need for doctors." she retorted stubbornly.

"Ziva let me at least take you to the nurse who lives across the hall from you, there could be slivers of glass in there, and we need to check that out." he told sternly.

'Fine" she gave up too tired to argue.

they started walking down the hallway, when tony took in her attire seeing she was wearing full sleeve shirt and yoga pants that covered her body not letting even a bit of skin peek through, he thought it was odd for Ziva to be dressed as such at home especially in this hot weather.

**HALF AN HOUR LATER**

**ZIVA'S APARTMENT**

Ziva and tony walked in after having her hand cleaned and tied with a bandage.

She locked her front door and came towards the couch and sat on it.

Tony went into the kitchen to bring a glass of water; he set it down in front of her and sat beside her on the couch.

After about 10 minutes or so where tony was staring intently at Ziva and ziva though could feel his gaze avoided looking at him at all cost.

He placed a hand upon her knee only to have her respond by jerking away from.

"Ziva, what was that all about?" tony asked when he felt that she needed some prodding to open up.

Ziva just shook her head and got up from the couch to go back to cleaning her apartment.

Tony just looked at her surprised yet terrified by her actions.

She was scrubbing away at the spotless kitchen counter over and over again at the same spot.

He walked behind her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched at the contact ,he turned her around to look him in the eye.

"That's enough cleaning Ziva , you look like you haven't eaten anything, come, I dropped the pizza box earlier I will order another one." tony said leading her back to the couch.

After ordering a fresh pizza, Tony came and sat beside her on the couch, he sat looking towards her,

"When I knocked, who did you think was at that door, that you had to be prepared by holding a piece of glass?" tony asked her softly.

Ziva looked at Tony with hurt in her eyes, " I am sorry, I am so sorry Tony I didn't think it was you, I..I.. thought it was..." she trailed off when a sob wracked her fragile body.

Tony carefully moved towards her and pulled her head to his chest and whispered into her hair, " hey, Ziva shh, it's alright, don't worry, it's alright, shh." he kept on repeating kissing the top of her head.

Ziva looked up at Tony from where her head was still cradled close to his chest, she shook her head and started mumbling " no its not alright, nothing is alright, nothing will ever be right, I almost stabbed you tony, I could have killed you if you hadn't moved, and if I had I would never be able to live with myself ever..." she said as she started trembling again.

Tony felt his heart break seeing her this way; he pulled her back into his arms and started rocking her whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

"What happened Ziva? Who did you think was at the door?" he asked

"talk to me Zi, don't push me out, let me help please.' he said when she didn't respond for a while.

"rray" she stammered, but her voice was tiny, muffled by Tony's shirt that she tried to hide into.

The hand that was caressing her back stopped all of a sudden. Tony knew something was wrong, he felt strongly that last night he should not have left Ziva alone with Ray's threat fresh in the air.

He pulled her from his chest and made her look up.

What he saw or the lack of it scared him to no end. Her eyes were blank and she kept her face stoic.

he pulled back the sleeves of the shirt she was wearing to be horrified to see what was underneath, bruises covered her entire arm not leaving a speck of skin behind to be visible,

He could make out the scratches on her forearm and upper arm.

Tony abruptly stood up and took the glass that was on the table and threw it. It hit the wall and broke into pieces on the floor.

Ziva's eyes were wide and she was shaking violently out of fear, seeing Tony react so angrily.

Tony ran his hands through his hair and turned to see Ziva shaking, her knees drawn up tight towards her chest as if she was protecting herself from his outrage.

"Shit" he swore softly as he slowly sat beside her on the sofa. He placed his hands on her feet but she just flinched and removed her feet from his touch.

"Ziva I am sorry, I didn't mean to..." tony started telling when he was interrupted by her voice.

"Get out" she said under her breath.

"Ziva" he tried calming her.

"No Tony, get out of here right now." she told more sternly looking at him.

She could clearly see the hurt in his eyes but she was not in a good place and didn't even the reason as to why she was scared of him.

Tony stood up from the couch and headed towards the door, he looked back at her once more before going out the door and shutting it close behind him.

he stood there his head against Ziva's door talking to himself in a low voice " I am sorry Ziva, I am so sorry , I failed you again, I promised to protect you." he softly banged his head against the door "I should have been here yesterday." he said as a single tear slipped out of his eyes down his cheek.

**A/N: so how was it? Do review the chapter; it helps make my experience writing about these amazing characters even wonderful. So please review before you leave **


	8. i will be uploading soon

**A/N: **Hey there dear readers don't worry I will be uploading more chapters of this story. What happened this week with cote leaving NCIS has seriously troubled me and hurt me. I need some time to pull myself together and then will complete the chapters. I made a promise that I will see through this story till the end and I am not going back on my words. But right now I am not in a very good place with everything upside down in my personal life and the news of cote leaving was the final blow that crushed me. It feels physically impossible for me to write anything that reminds me of her and it seems all I do nowadays is cry day and night. But I am sure time will heal it. I know Ziva will no longer be on the team, and I hope to god they don't kill her off. But Ziva is my most favorite character and she will always be a part of me and I will always keep her alive in my imaginations. I have another story I am writing but much like this it will take some time for me to upload that too. I know many people are devastated as I am, so hugs to all cote/Ziva fans out there. Cote is an amazing actress and her part on the show will be dearly missed.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: **** okay here it is the next instalment of this story for you lovely people. In the light of the recent events I feel like I should be posting fluffy happy stories. but I had written this chapter and many more, before the release of that catastrophic news, and I can't change that now, but rest assured there will be happy times in this story, or as happy as it can realistically get based on the circumstances of the story. For now it is still intense but nothing major, it is just hurt/comfort and a revengeful Tony. Also I have written an new story named 'new beginnings' it is a fluffy, romantic story so do check it out .And also thank you very much for all your amazing reviews and support without which I wouldn't be writing, you people helped me get through the initial shock of that news and specially thanks to my guest reviewer Liz, and no worries readers we will keep the spirit of Ziva alive. **

**DISCLAIMER:**** I own none of the characters or NCIS I do not make any sort of profit from this.**

**CHAPTER 8**

Ziva had cried herself to sleep on her couch, and when she opened her eyes she saw that it was still dark outside but it had started to rain. She looked toward the DVD player to see it was almost 2'o' clock in the morning.

Ziva sat on the couch her knees pulled towards her chest and head resting on them crying her eyes out, thinking about what had happened earlier.

She felt incredibly bad for being unreasonably afraid of her best friend and pushing him out when she needed him the most. He was trying to help her out and it was no surprise that he felt angry, he was most likely at his apartment blaming for what had happened to her.

She felt as if she was being suffocated sitting in her couch, she moved towards her window to get some fresh air. The light wind from the unseasonal rain felt cool on her already damp cheeks, through her blurred vision she saw Tony's car still parked on the street opposite her apartment.

She wondered what his car was still doing on the street; she wiped her cheeks furiously clearing all the evidence of tears and ran out of her door towards the stairway.

She reached the lobby panting and breathing heavily, to see Tony sitting on the stairs outside the apartment building.

He was sitting on the stairs, head cradled in his hands, completely drenched from the rain, and shoulders sagged in defeat.

"Tony!" she called out to him.

Tony's head snapped up as soon as he heard her voice. He stood up from where he was sitting and turned to see Ziva standing there, her face had tears running down it uninhibited.

As soon as he turned around Ziva ran towards him and into his embrace crying relentlessly. She didn't mind a bit that she was drenched completely by the rain.

Tony held her close, her head tucked under his chin, he closed his eyes and whispered into her soft hair, "I am sorry I failed you Ziva." Ziva was choked by her emotions that all she could do was shake her head into his chest.

"I'll never let you down Ziva, I'll make that bastard pay for this, I'll be there even if it is the last thing I'll ever do." he said to her.

Ziva moved away from his chest looked at him for a moment; she then took his hand in hers and led him upstairs to her apartment.

Once inside Ziva went to her room and changed into dry clothes and came outside holding a towel for Tony to dry himself.

Sorry I don't have anything you can change into." she said as she saw tony dripping water on her carpet.

"Don't worry I'll go and get my Gym bag from the car." he said and went out to get it.

**THE NEXT MORNING**

Tony lay on his side, wide awake after a restless night on the couch. He heard movement in the kitchen; he got up and peeked into the kitchen to see Ziva moving around making coffee.

"Do you need some?" she asked all of a sudden, sensing his presence behind her without even turning to look.

Tony smiled to himself seeing Ziva was somewhat her ninja self rather than the sobbing frightful mess she was the previous night, this is what he wanted for her, her to be normal again, to be happy, but unfortunately for both of them he knew it was a long road ahead for her to achieve either of that.

Suddenly Ziva stood before him offering a cup of steaming coffee, breaking him from his trance." figured you needed this as much as I do." she said noticing the dark circles around his eyes that indicated lack of sleep, not just from the previous night alone but for many nights recently.

He took the coffee from her and followed her to the couch.

They sat silently beside each other sipping on their coffees. Tony looked up from where his gaze was fixed and looked instead at Ziva; he took a deep breath and started talking what was on his mind.

"Ziva I think you should take a couple more days off, you don't have to even tell Gibbs I'll just convince him of what you said to him yesterday." he said look at her.

"I am fine Tony." she said in a clipped tone.

He huffed out irritatingly and shook his head in disbelief.

Ziva understood what she had just done, she placed the coffee cup back on the table, she sat sideways looking at tony.

She place a hand on his knee prompting him to look up, "I didn't mean that I was fine in spite of what was done to me, I am not any super woman and I know that, what happened to me two nights ago was brutal, I was violated and I am reminded that every time I walk or breathe." she said tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ziva..." he started but was cut off by Ziva shaking her head.

"Tony you don't understand, I have to do this. I desperately need to get out of here. I can't stay here for a moment reliving what transpired within this house. It is too much to endure I...I feel like I am being strangled the more I sit here doing nothing."

"You don't have to be here, you can pick a few things for yourself and I will drop you off at my place, you can rest there as long as you want." Tony offered, desperately trying to make her stay at home and rest.

"No Tony that is not what I meant, it doesn't matter where I am, I carry the nightmare with me." She said as she turned to face the window and slumped back into the pillows.

"I need to do what I do best, get out and catch some bad guys, I can't live with myself if I sit all day trying to chase away the nightmares, besides I have you to have my back, and as long as that is there I will feel way better than being holed up somewhere." she said as she rested her head on the back cushion and looked sideways at Tony.

Tony smiled and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ears.

**08:00 **

**NCIS BULLPEN**

Ziva sat at her desk typing up an old case report when she heard the distinct ding of the elevator.

she didn't even look up as she greeted Gibbs," good morning Gibbs" she said in the most pleasant voice she could manage.

McGee had a slight frown on his face as his gaze kept shifting between Tony who was staring intently at Ziva every now and then, Ziva who was fidgeting uncomfortably on the chair but blissfully unaware of Tony's intense scrutiny, and Gibbs who since his arrival was standing just outside the bullpen looking just as intently at Ziva.

Ziva looked up when she didn't see Gibbs's shadow cross her desk. Gibbs who was standing beside her desk placed the coffee cup on her desk and knelt in front of her turning her chair to look at him, he tapped his fingers against the long sleeved jacket she was wearing that covered her scars.

She shook her head pleading him not to do what he was about to do. He moved the material up her arm and looked at the scars littered across her skin.

"Ziva go down to Ducky." he said softly.

"No, I don't need a check up." she said as few tears dropped from her eyes.

"Ziver" he said in a pleading tone, placing a hand on her cheek.

She flinched away from his touch and kept her eyes on her interlocked fingers.

Gibbs sighed and looked towards Tony and McGee and with a stoic expression ordered "Abby has a lead on the case, come on."

**ABBY'S LAB**

The elevator came to a stop on the floor of Abby's lab. The four of them got off the metal box and walked towards the lab.

Abby who was working on her computer spun around to see her favourite team walking in. She noticed that Ziva was back after her sick day and ran towards her and enveloped her in the bear hug she usually gives everyone.

Ziva not expecting screamed out in shock rather than pain and stumbled back and fell on the floor.

Tony who was right behind her caught her midway through the fall before she hit her head, "hey, you alright? Are you hurt." he asked concerned by her violent fall.

Tears were streaming down her face, when she looked up at him, then abruptly stood up and ran out of the lab towards the staircase.

Tony ran out right behind her and stopped when he saw her sitting beside the stairwell door.

He approached her and sat beside her, "hey Ziva look at me." he said

Ziva looked up into his eyes and asked "why? Why can't I have a normal life? Why does everything have to be so complicated?"

"Ziva everything is going to be alright." he tried to console.

"No I just screamed when Abby hugged me, I scared her Tony, she is like my sister and I scared her." she said with tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

"It's alright Ziva you were just surprised, you are not ready for surprising physical contact, but you will be alright eventually, I'll be there Ziva every step of the way." Tony said as he cradled her close to his chest.

"You told Gibbs didn't you?" she asked her voice muffled by his shirt.

Tony sighed and answered, "Yeah I did, I had to."

"You promised you wouldn't say." she said

"That is if you took a few more days off Ziva, even then I would have told him." he said as he lifted her head to make her look at him.

"You are his adopted daughter Ziva, this doesn't concern only you, and it matters to all of us. Besides I want to hunt that scumbag down, and I want Gibbs beside me to rip him off when we get a hold of him." he said.

Ziva shook her head and started protesting when Tony laid a finger on her lips to stop her.

"This is not up for discussion Zi, I will find him and I will make him regret the day he was born."

**A/N: So what do you think? Please, please, please leave a review I can't emphasise enough on how much I need it. And hugs to the whole NCIS fandom, you are not alone we are there for each other. **


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: **** Okay so here is the next chapter. You people are amazing with all these reviews and follows and favourites I am overwhelmed. Keep it coming, it inspires me to write more. **

**DISCLAIMER:**** I own none of the characters or NCIS I do not make any sort of profit from this.**

**CHAPTER 9**

**08:30 pm**

**BULLPEN**

Ziva finished typing up the report of their latest case. She looked up to see the others busy with their work.

She started collecting her stuff and got ready to leave for the night. She stalled as much she could because the prospect of facing an empty house was terrifying her.

Tony looked up from his paper work and noticed Ziva was lingering at her desk, shuffling things around just to while away her time. He knew Ziva was scared but was too stubborn to admit it and ask for help.

At last she reluctantly got up from her place and started moving towards the elevator, Gibbs couldn't bear to see each of her hesitant steps, he got up and followed, when he reached her by the elevator doors where she was waiting for it to arrive, he placed a hand on her shoulder and she responded by flinching away.

"Ziver you could stay at my place, if you don't feel like going to your apartment." he said softly.

She looked up and gently shook her head, "no Gibbs it's alright, It's just silly that I feel this way about my home."

"It's not silly Ziva you have a reason to be scared." said Tony who had followed behind Gibbs.

"Give me ten minutes and we will go together." Tony said.

"No Tony you have work to do, I will be fine on my own." she said

"Ziva.." he started when she cut him off.

"Finish your work and I'll wait for you at my apartment." she said trying not to hurt Tony.

He nodded his head and went back to his desk, Gibbs too stayed with Ziva and after she got on the elevator he went back to his desk.

when they were all settled at their desks and resumed their work there was an uncomfortable silence in the air.

McGee had enough of these secrets and huffed out irritatingly, Gibbs and Tony looked up at him.

"You know this is frustrating for me too, right, seeing her hurting and not able to help. What is this all about?" he asked.

"We do need their help to track the bastard, so just tell him and get it over with, we need to use all the help we have to find him." Gibbs said to Tony.

Tony ran his hand through his hair, exhausted by the events of the past few days, he looked up at McGee and said "call Abby, she too needs to know."

**NEXT MORNING**

Tony was woken up from his sleep by his vibrating phone. He looked at it and saw it was Gibbs calling.

"hey boss! do we have a case" he answered

"no DiNozzo come to my basement now." he ordered and hung up.

Tony looked up at the clock and saw that it was almost 06:00. Just as he got up and started putting on his shirt, Ziva came back from her morning jog.

He was standing there with his shirt open and in his boxers, and as soon as she saw Tony in his state of undress she breathed in sharply, turned away and walked into the kitchen.

Tony slapped the back of his head himself for his stupid choice of nightwear. He made a note to bring sweatpants and shirts from his apartment.

He got ready quickly and went into the kitchen, where Ziva was standing in front of the sink gripping it tightly , making her knuckles go white.

Tony threaded his fingers through his hair worried about the condition of his friend.

"I am sorry Ziva I should have thought about what I wear before I went to bed." he said

"Please Zi look at me." he pleaded.

She turned around slowly still clutching the sink with a death grip," No Tony this is not fair to you, you should be able to go to a proper bed every night and wear whatever you want, I don't want you to have to go through this." Ziva said.

"Ziva, I don't mind any of this as long as you are feeling safe." he said.

"No this will not happen anymore, I can't make others suffer because of that bastard, tonight you are either going to sleep on my bed or going back to your place ." ziva said.

"Ziva I am not going to leave you alone unless I make sure that scumbag is dead and buried. And me being close to you in your sleep can trigger your memories..." he started saying but was cut off by Ziva.

"No, If you are not leaving, fine, but if you are going to be sleeping it will be on a bed tonight." ziva said.

"Okay, okay fine we will see about it tonight, now I need to go to my place and run some errands, see you at work." he said as he left for Gibbs's house.

**GIBBS BASEMENT**

"What took you so long DiNozzo?" asked Gibbs as he descended down to the basement.

"I had some errands to run." he lied he didn't want the others to worry more than they already did.

McGee was also present already dressed and ready for work. "okay, so last night after you guys left I stayed behind a little longer and delved into Ray's phone and bank records, well the phone records were useless the number is not in use any longer, but the bank records show that he had withdrawn money from his bank day before yesterday."

"I could track down the exact branch from which he had withdrawn his money, this morning I went back to the office and putting in a few request was able to extract the video footage from the parking lot cameras. and we have a licence plate number of the car Ray used." McGee said.

"And?" Tony asked.

"And I have also tried to extract the traffic camera footage, and the car appears in many of them but later it enters an alley and then doesn't appear anymore ." he continued.

"How can he just disappear?" Tony questioned frustrated that they had got so close to catching him and he just disappeared.

"I don't know Tony, he is CIA and he is good at disappearing without a trace, I am trying to figure it out." he said.

"Okay , we could ask the local police department of that area to go and find that car, also we need to know what was the closest building right next to that alley. Then we can enquire with them about Ray and that car." Tony provided.

"Yes Tony that could certainly help us." McGee said.

"Good now you two get to the navy yard and try to keep this on the down low, we don't want to make Ziva anxious." Gibbs said.

**NCIS BULLPEN **

**01:00 PM**

The MCRT had not caught any case today, so it was a day of cold cases, and paperwork.

The atmosphere in the bullpen was tense, as was usual these days. But Ziva felt something else, she felt on edge the whole day, her team mates were acting weird they were contacting people, taking down information and running off to Abby's lab now and then, they were acting as if they were investigating an active case.

At last when McGee got up to go to Abby's lab she stood up and mumbled something about lunch and lest her desk.

She caught up with McGee before the elevator doors slid shut. "You do know that, you should take the back elevator to go to Abby's lab?" she questioned.

McGee did not dare look at Ziva, in the fear of blurting out the truth." No I have to meet someone." he said in a low voice.

"You have got a lead on the cold case?" Ziva asked

"No not yet, maybe I'll know after meeting this person." he lied trying to keep his voice still.

"Sorry McGee I don't intend to be annoying but I feel you guys are hiding things from me." she said defeated.

McGee had something in his mind and he wanted to get it out desperately, so he stepped forward and flipped the emergency switch , the elevator came to a halt.

"you remember Sarah?" McGee asked out of the blue.

"Yes of course, she is your sister." Ziva replied confused as to where the conversation was heading.

"Yeah, ever since she was born I have really loved her, I used to try to be the best big brother, protect her from everything and all. Ever since I left for college I haven't been able to see her as much as I have wanted to. But when I joined NCIS that void was filled by you, You are like a baby sister to me, we might not be related by blood and you might be a very dangerous assassin but I can only see you as my little sister that I need to protect and fight for. So remember you are not alone in this, you have all of us by your side." McGee said.

"Tim, that means a lot to me and yes you are like a brother to me too. I can see how much you care for me, and I am grateful for that." she said with tears filling her eyes at the affection McGee just showed her.

McGee flipped the switch and the elevator started again. when it reached its destination and the doors opened, he reached and kissed the side of her head and left the elevator.

Ziva tried to wipe away all the tears that were pouring out, but a new one kept coming. She didn't know what she had done to deserve this but she was thankful for this family. It was her light in this darkness, a reason to believe and a reason to live.

**11:00**

**ZIVA'S BEDROOM.**

Ziva had insisted and was very stubborn that Tony should sleep in her bed and with her from that night onwards as long as he would be there in her apartment.

Albeit reluctantly, Tony agreed to this reasoning to himself that he would wake up at the slightest sign of discomfort from her. She had also wanted him to be comfortable in his night clothes but he decided that being in the same bed was enough for the night

They both lay there on opposite sides of the bed as far away as possible from each other, both of them were staring at ceiling.

"So, where is he now?" Ziva asked suddenly.

Tony was confused as to what she was asking. Then seeing her stone cold expression he figured out what she meant.

"McGee." he said in a whisper.

"Don't blame him, I kind of figured it out myself." Ziva said as she turned her head and looked at Tony.

when Tony didn't say anything she said, "I need to know Tony, being in the dark about this isn't helping me, I have to be prepared." she said.

"Ziva there is nothing to be afraid of right now. He is nowhere near you, we will make sure it stays that way." Tony assured.

"but still, where is he?" she asked inquisitively.

"We could track him to a place 80 miles from here and then he just disappeared." Tony gritted out.

"Not surprising, he is CIA, it is his job to disappear at will." she said.

"We will get him Ziva, we are better than that, and we will break him into pieces right in front of you, but promise me you will not go out looking for him without any of us." he said.

Ziva shook her head from side to side, " I won't, and please I do not need to see him ever not even his dead body. I just want to make myself believe that such a thing never existed." she pleaded.

Tony nodded his head. He was scared, this was such a different Ziva, the one he knew must have already been half way across the world seeking revenge. But this broken version of her was heartbreaking. He reached out and squeezed her hands reassuringly.

They lay there silently, each listening to the other breathe and were slowly lulled to sleep.

**A/N: ****How was it? please leave a review and let me know. Next update will be up in a week. **


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